Monday, July 6, 2009

The Birth of a Nation.

Sometimes an idea only takes a few beers, a few vodka tonics, and a few shots of tequila, to become a great idea. On Saturday July 4th 2009 some 233 years after the birth of the United States of America, comes an even greater event in the history of mankind and his plight for freedom. The inception of 'America 2.o'.



Much has to be decided by America 2.0's leadership council but I am eager to release a few details of our new nation:

  • Cooking breakfast outside on sunday morning while listening to Barry White at a medium volume is encouraged, maybe even a little Huey Lewis on special occasions.

  • N*SCAR is a swear word in America 2.0

  • Robot and Zombie resistance will be the key goal of theAmerica 2.0 military industrial complex.
  • Does anyone know how to make tequila? If so you are granted citizenship immediately.

I am sure there were many more great ideas discuused that night but as mentioned before many spirited beverages were consumed and we are all thankful that no serious injuries were inflicted during our sweet sweet fireworks celebration. If you want to add anything that I forgot feel free.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

LOL PETA you make me laugh

I'm a little slow on responding to this, but I think it was last week when PETA decided to rear its ugly head and condemn president obama for "murdering" an innocent fly. This is certainly douchebaggery at its highest possible level. Now I could go on some 5000 word rant about how stupid this is, but I really just have a couple of questions for them:

What about plants? Why not show compassion for them? Nobody cares about the potato ripped out of the ground only to be mashed up and eaten by (gasp) animals! What about baby carrots? I mean they are just babies for god sakes. A bit hipocritical if you ask me, only caring about one of the 2 major life forms on this planet

Since there are only 2 major forms of life on this planet, that would mean if you are not a plant than you are an animal.... we are animals. I don't see PETA getting all worked up over human rights violations, why is that? We are animals too. And to that point animals eat and kill other animals. Does Peta members get wind of a house cat killing a bird for no reason and throw in their birkenstocks and hemp necklaces and go out an protest? I bet they don't.

So in closing I would just like to say that PETA is dumb, and if you are a member of PETA I would at least hope that you do not reproduce.

Monday, May 25, 2009

A blog update? Why so soon?

That's exactly what I was thinking. Certainly one could think that I'm losing interest in this blog but the reality is its my blog and I'll post an update whenever the mood strikes(IF you think you are better than me go ahead and start your own blog). Besides the three people that actually read this blog have probably stopped reading it, not because of my lack of content but mostly because it sucks. Since it has been so long the right thing to do here is a series of bullet points on some goings on since my last blog.



  • This I won't go into a lengthy discussion of what is obviously pure lunacy, and this is our government at work. Yes your right Mr. Senator free speech is a wonderful thing, and I'm free to come to the conclusion that you are retarded. Like its not enough to just deny the climate is changing you actually go to the length to quote a theological book for answers to a scientific problem. Oh and if you read this and think I support Al Gore's bullshit you are wrong too.

  • Swine Flu! What a joke, its just the flu STFU about it already. The only logical explanation that I can come up with is that is what a joint effort fund raiser between the media and the consumer healthcare industry. tens of thousands of jerks in this country die a year from the "regular" flu, and a few people get sick and I have to deal with douche bags wearing surgical masks at the airport.
  • Have you seen the new Terminator moive? You should. I have not seen it, but that's because I don't need to as I am much more in tune to the certain destruction we face from robots than most people.
  • Someone asked me today if I saw the move "Valkrie" or whatever its called, and had the nerve to be shocked when I said I can't watch Tom Cruise on film. Am I the only one? The guy has been at the top of my celebrity douche list for years. He sucks. Scientology is dumb. Thetans are dumb. Paying money to a fake church to cleanse your soul via auditing is dumb..stop laughing christians.

That's probably enough bullet points anyway. I don't want to write too much and go another full 6 weeks withoug blogging.

Monday, April 13, 2009

When I grow up I want to be a tugboat captain..

I was reading the Lancaster Sunday News on Sunday(surprise) when in the parade magazine they had their annual "What People Earn" report. In this report is a sampling of what different people earn(No rocket science here). Nurses Aids that earn in the thousands, lawyers that earn in the hundreds of thousands, and hedge fund managers in the hundreds of millions. That is when I saw it. Tugboat Captain 59,000 per year. What a great job, you get to play around on a boat all day, make almost 60k per year and to top it off, robots can't swim. Yes, when I grow up I want to be a tugboat captain. Plus you would get to wear a bad ass hat.










Wednesday, April 8, 2009

It's not funny, but at the same time it is kind of funny.

I wonder how long its been since the secretary of state of the United States of America had to express concern over pirates. I can't even type this without chuckling. Today the media reports on pirate attacks on boats that contain American citizens, tomorrow the mass hysteria will start. Rush Limbaugh will come on the radio and say anyone who dresses up as a pirate for halloween is "unpatriotic", he will ask for Johnny Depp to have his citizen ship revoked. Morons will listen. People will stage public events where "Pirates of the Caribbean" DVD's are run over with a steam roller, eye patches will be called "freedom patches". Congress will get together and send swashbucklers to internment camps for re-education. Then when the hysteria reaches a fever pitch, and when the 24 hour news networks are calling for retribution, the administration will act. We will attack England. They will say that England being the birthplace of perhaps the most famous pirate Blackbeard, was to blame. America needs an enemy.

Monday, April 6, 2009

America Home of the free Land of the... (plus robots)

We put more people in prison per capita than any other civilization in the world. Kind of ironic, no? I don't mean to go into a pseudo political tirade about the state of our union, but I found this to an interesting topic.




Approximately one in every 18 men in the United States is behind bars or being monitored.

So what would be the reason for this? I sure would like to know. Looking at Europe for example their rates are much lower than those in the US, yet US and Europe have similar overall crime rates, albeit we have a higher rate of murder per capita.

Why in the land of the free are so many not?

Now onto robots!

I got an anoymouse email tip last week with a link to an article about robts that think for themselves. Robots that are able to make scientific discoveries on their own, robots than can do experimets and form hypothesis. Robots that can do pharmaceutical research(wait what...?) Yup. Robots who hate you will soon be developing drugs.. drugs that will be used to kill you.

Excerpt:

At Aberystwyth University in Wales, Ross King and colleagues have created a robot called Adam that can not only carry out experiments on yeast metabolism but also reason about the results and plan the next experiment.It is the world's first example of a machine that has made an independent scientific discovery -- in this case, new facts about the genetic make-up of baker's yeast."On its own it can think of hypotheses and then do the experiments, and we've checked that it's got the results correct," King said in an interview."People have been working on this since the 1960s. When we first sent robots to Mars, they really dreamt of the robots doing their own experiments on Mars. After 40 or 50 years, we've now got the capability to do that."Their next robot, Eve, will have much more brain power and will be put to work searching for new medicines.hate humans are soon going to be trusted to develop new drugs

Its funny its name is Adam, and the next one will be called Eve, and the principles of our destruction will bear the same name as the fabled first two humans god created in his own image. I'm sure my treadmill in the basement is very pleased, I am not and frankly I'm a little scared to go downstairs right now.
 

web stats software