I want my own satellite.

I fail to understand people that get dressed up in spandex to go ride bicycles on the road. I get the physics of it, less wind resistance, etc. but it makes you look like a douche unless you are in an actual bike race. I just can't wrap my head around the idea of some guy slipping out of his normal person clothes and into some tight fitting spandex super hero outfit just to go out and ride his bike. Wouldn't a normal person get that outfit on, go look in the mirror and think " Oh hell no, I look like a superhero with uut a cape, no way I'm going outside in this hideous costume." I imagine these guys must be single, because no loving wife would let their husband go out in the street in a flourescent body suit. "Hey honey how do I look in my new sweet biking outfit." You look like a fucking dick with a glow in the dark condom on. What the fuck is the matter with you?Thats's what any loving spouse would say. The only sense I can make of it is, nevermind I can't make any sense of it. At least if they would just get a cape to go with the outfit I would think "oh that's not just a douche riding a bike in tights, that is a superhero on his way to save the world.."

On an unrelated side note, I wish to purchase my own satellite. I have no reason for this, other than it would be a cool to say "Well fuck you, I have my own satellite."