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The Birth of a Nation.

Sometimes an idea only takes a few beers, a few vodka tonics, and a few shots of tequila, to become a great idea. On Saturday July 4th 2009 some 233 years after the birth of the United States of America, comes an even greater event in the history of mankind and his plight for freedom. The inception of 'America 2.o'.



Much has to be decided by America 2.0's leadership council but I am eager to release a few details of our new nation:

• Cooking breakfast outside on sunday morning while listening to Barry White at a medium volume is encouraged, maybe even a little Huey Lewis on special occasions.


• N*SCAR is a swear word in America 2.0


• Robot and Zombie resistance will be the key goal of theAmerica 2.0 military industrial complex.
• Does anyone know how to make tequila? If so you are granted citizenship immediately.

I am sure there were many more great ideas discuused that night but as mentioned before many spirited beverages were consumed and we are all thankful that no serious injuries were inflicted during our sweet sweet fireworks celebration. If you want to add anything that I forgot feel free.

LOL PETA you make me laugh

I'm a little slow on responding to this, but I think it was last week when PETA decided to rear its ugly head and condemn president obama for "murdering" an innocent fly. This is certainly douchebaggery at its highest possible level. Now I could go on some 5000 word rant about how stupid this is, but I really just have a couple of questions for them:

What about plants? Why not show compassion for them? Nobody cares about the potato ripped out of the ground only to be mashed up and eaten by (gasp) animals! What about baby carrots? I mean they are just babies for god sakes. A bit hipocritical if you ask me, only caring about one of the 2 major life forms on this planet

Since there are only 2 major forms of life on this planet, that would mean if you are not a plant than you are an animal.... we are animals. I don't see PETA getting all worked up over human rights violations, why is that? We are animals too. And to that point animals eat and kill other animals. Does Peta members get wind of a house cat killing a bird for no reason and throw in their birkenstocks and hemp necklaces and go out an protest? I bet they don't.

So in closing I would just like to say that PETA is dumb, and if you are a member of PETA I would at least hope that you do not reproduce.

A blog update? Why so soon?

That's exactly what I was thinking. Certainly one could think that I'm losing interest in this blog but the reality is its my blog and I'll post an update whenever the mood strikes(IF you think you are better than me go ahead and start your own blog). Besides the three people that actually read this blog have probably stopped reading it, not because of my lack of content but mostly because it sucks. Since it has been so long the right thing to do here is a series of bullet points on some goings on since my last blog.

• This I won't go into a lengthy discussion of what is obviously pure lunacy, and this is our government at work. Yes your right Mr. Senator free speech is a wonderful thing, and I'm free to come to the conclusion that you are retarded. Like its not enough to just deny the climate is changing you actually go to the length to quote a theological book for answers to a scientific problem. Oh and if you read this and think I support Al Gore's bullshit you are wrong too.


• Swine Flu! What a joke, its just the flu STFU about it already. The only logical explanation that I can come up with is that is what a joint effort fund raiser between the media and the consumer healthcare industry. tens of thousands of jerks in this country die a year from the "regular" flu, and a few people get sick and I have to deal with douche bags wearing surgical masks at the airport.
• Have you seen the new Terminator moive? You should. I have not seen it, but that's because I don't need to as I am much more in tune to the certain destruction we face from robots than most people.
• Someone asked me today if I saw the move "Valkrie" or whatever its called, and had the nerve to be shocked when I said I can't watch Tom Cruise on film. Am I the only one? The guy has been at the top of my celebrity douche list for years. He sucks. Scientology is dumb. Thetans are dumb. Paying money to a fake church to cleanse your soul via auditing is dumb..stop laughing christians.

That's probably enough bullet points anyway. I don't want to write too much and go another full 6 weeks withoug blogging.

When I grow up I want to be a tugboat captain..

I was reading the Lancaster Sunday News on Sunday(surprise) when in the parade magazine they had their annual "What People Earn" report. In this report is a sampling of what different people earn(No rocket science here). Nurses Aids that earn in the thousands, lawyers that earn in the hundreds of thousands, and hedge fund managers in the hundreds of millions. That is when I saw it. Tugboat Captain 59,000 per year. What a great job, you get to play around on a boat all day, make almost 60k per year and to top it off, robots can't swim. Yes, when I grow up I want to be a tugboat captain. Plus you would get to wear a bad ass hat.

It's not funny, but at the same time it is kind of funny.

I wonder how long its been since the secretary of state of the United States of America had to express concern over pirates. I can't even type this without chuckling. Today the media reports on pirate attacks on boats that contain American citizens, tomorrow the mass hysteria will start. Rush Limbaugh will come on the radio and say anyone who dresses up as a pirate for halloween is "unpatriotic", he will ask for Johnny Depp to have his citizen ship revoked. Morons will listen. People will stage public events where "Pirates of the Caribbean" DVD's are run over with a steam roller, eye patches will be called "freedom patches". Congress will get together and send swashbucklers to internment camps for re-education. Then when the hysteria reaches a fever pitch, and when the 24 hour news networks are calling for retribution, the administration will act. We will attack England. They will say that England being the birthplace of perhaps the most famous pirate Blackbeard, was to blame. America needs an enemy.

America Home of the free Land of the... (plus robots)

We put more people in prison per capita than any other civilization in the world. Kind of ironic, no? I don't mean to go into a pseudo political tirade about the state of our union, but I found this to an interesting topic.




Approximately one in every 18 men in the United States is behind bars or being monitored.

So what would be the reason for this? I sure would like to know. Looking at Europe for example their rates are much lower than those in the US, yet US and Europe have similar overall crime rates, albeit we have a higher rate of murder per capita.

Why in the land of the free are so many not?

Now onto robots!

I got an anoymouse email tip last week with a link to an article about robts that think for themselves. Robots that are able to make scientific discoveries on their own, robots than can do experimets and form hypothesis. Robots that can do pharmaceutical research(wait what...?) Yup. Robots who hate you will soon be developing drugs.. drugs that will be used to kill you.

Excerpt:

At Aberystwyth University in Wales, Ross King and colleagues have created a robot called Adam that can not only carry out experiments on yeast metabolism but also reason about the results and plan the next experiment.It is the world's first example of a machine that has made an independent scientific discovery -- in this case, new facts about the genetic make-up of baker's yeast."On its own it can think of hypotheses and then do the experiments, and we've checked that it's got the results correct," King said in an interview."People have been working on this since the 1960s. When we first sent robots to Mars, they really dreamt of the robots doing their own experiments on Mars. After 40 or 50 years, we've now got the capability to do that."Their next robot, Eve, will have much more brain power and will be put to work searching for new medicines.hate humans are soon going to be trusted to develop new drugs

Its funny its name is Adam, and the next one will be called Eve, and the principles of our destruction will bear the same name as the fabled first two humans god created in his own image. I'm sure my treadmill in the basement is very pleased, I am not and frankly I'm a little scared to go downstairs right now.

Skynet Strikes Again..

Skynet has a new feature where if you input your cell number and personal information, all your "friends" can track you on google maps to see where you are at, by your cell phone. They call it "google latitude". Your cell phone has become the mark of the beast. You should be concerned about this on many levels. Skynet will know where you are at all times, and if that isnt enough to scare you(It is for me, but I don't even trust my dishwasher) Your government will also know where you are at all times, I'm sure somewhere George Orwell is going "HA HA!" in his best nelson voice, as is John Conner. So take my advice for it, or don't its your life.

I want my own satellite.

I fail to understand people that get dressed up in spandex to go ride bicycles on the road. I get the physics of it, less wind resistance, etc. but it makes you look like a douche unless you are in an actual bike race. I just can't wrap my head around the idea of some guy slipping out of his normal person clothes and into some tight fitting spandex super hero outfit just to go out and ride his bike. Wouldn't a normal person get that outfit on, go look in the mirror and think " Oh hell no, I look like a superhero with uut a cape, no way I'm going outside in this hideous costume." I imagine these guys must be single, because no loving wife would let their husband go out in the street in a flourescent body suit. "Hey honey how do I look in my new sweet biking outfit." You look like a fucking dick with a glow in the dark condom on. What the fuck is the matter with you?Thats's what any loving spouse would say. The only sense I can make of it is, nevermind I can't make any sense of it. At least if they would just get a cape to go with the outfit I would think "oh that's not just a douche riding a bike in tights, that is a superhero on his way to save the world.."

On an unrelated side note, I wish to purchase my own satellite. I have no reason for this, other than it would be a cool to say "Well fuck you, I have my own satellite."

Bright spots in an otherwise dark time

The economy is in the shitter, and you might think its all bad but look on the bright side. Somewhere right now there is some out of work outside sales rep, yuppie shit bag who had to start double fisting their Xanax because they have come to the cold realization that they can no longer afford $6 lattees and sweaters for their overpriced barking rat that costs more than most people in the world live on for a year. This pleases me.

The next time you go to your ATM and withdrawal some money you can laugh at the fact that the $1.5o fee you pay is more than a share of their stock.

Smith & Wesson stock is up over 70% year to date while the the market is down over 25%. Don't worry I'm sure its a perfectly normal economic cycle that everyone pulled all their money out of the stock market and bought guns instead. There is probably some cool mad max shit coming soon.

This will be place holder for the blog I didn't write

I was writing a blog and then it got too complicated and frustrating so it looks like it will get filed away in the draft folder with the rest of the garbage(as if the stuff I post isnt bad enough). Leave it to me to overcomplicate a simple idea.

On another note, today is marks the beginning of daylight savings time, an idea thats logic escapes me completely. Thanks to the dipshit that though of this idea, I now have to site here at 12:30 am and not even be tired. Truth is i'm just jeolous because this guy came up with an idea that seems to serve no real purpose except to be annoying, and he got everyone to buy into it. Kudos to him.

Irony can be a bit confusing at times

But I think this might be a good example.

There is supposed to be tomorrow the largest national protest for global warming in our nations capital (Washington DC for those of you that might be stupid).

Tomorrow we are getting a massive snow storm that reaches all the way to Georgia, in March.

If there is a god I hope he does stuff like this all the time to entertain himself.

Good Morning Saturday

Wow.. I've been busy. Well not really that's actually a lie, I've been spending all my free time watching this show called "Lost". You may have heard of it. In fact you maybe be thinking oh that's that show about those people stuck on that mysterious island. WRONG. I've watched every episode and what the show is really about is constant blunt force trauma to the head. Week after week, these people just bash each other in the face, and knock each other unconscious. Anyways that's my excuse for neglecting my blog this month. Don't worry though there will be much to discuss with you in the coming days and weeks.

This blog will be a bit loger than usual

Because(drumroll please) Im going to include all the things that were cut from the stimulus bill in the senate. The BS Obamasocialist and his democratic idiots put in the bill to begin with. The bill that was so vital to saving our economy. This ladies and gentlemen is politics in america. Fu**ing scumbags all of them.

Fully eliminated
• $55 million for historic preservation
• $122 million for Coast Guard polar icebreaker/cutters
• $100 million for Farm Service Agency modernization
• $50 million for Cooperative State Research, Education and Extension Service
• $65 million for watershed rehabilitation
• $100 million for distance learning
• $98 million for school nutrition
• $50 million for aquaculture
• $2 billion for broadband
• $100 million for National Institute of Standards and Technology
• $50 million for detention trustee
• $25 million for Marshalls Construction
• $300 million for federal prisons
• $300 million for BYRNE Formula grant program
• $140 million for BYRNE Competitive grant program
• $10 million state and local law enforcement
• $50 million for NASA
• $50 million for aeronautics
• $50 million for exploration
• $50 million for Cross Agency Support
• $200 million for National Science Foundation
• $100 million for science
• $1 billion for Energy Loan Guarantees
• $4.5 billion for General Services Administration
• $89 million General Services Administration operations
• $50 million from Department of Homeland Security
• $200 million Transportation Security Administration
• $122 million for Coast Guard Cutters, modifies use
• $25 million for Fish and Wildlife
• $55 million for historic preservation
• $20 million for working capital fund
• $165 million for Forest Service capital improvement
• $90 million for State and Private Wildlife Fire Management
• $1 billion for Head Start/Early Start
• $5.8 billion for Health Prevention Activity
• $2 billion for Health Information Technology Grants
• $600 million for Title I (No Child Left Behind)
• $16 billion for school construction
• $3.5 billion for higher education construction
• $1.25 billion for project based rental
• $2.25 billion for Neighborhood Stabilization

And there you have it.

HA! You're not even real..

Neither am I apparently. If you go ahead and drift over to the newsfeed section of my blog you will notice an article about the "Holographic Universe". Go ahead and read it. Long story short we may all actually be living in a 2 dimensional universe projected as holograms in 3d.

On a creepy side note, if you mistype(as I often do) the URL to my bad ass blog, it takes you to a creepy megasite of the bible(that's teh book for me). http://jerksonly.blogpot.com/ The universe(even the 2-d one) is not without a sense of irony.

Too many parenthesis(yeah probably).

Robots To Clean Your Kitchen And Play A Game Of Hockey?

Of course what a fantastically stupid idea. If peer over there in the robotic news on my blog you will notice I stole the head line from the article for my blog. Steal the headline and the blog will write itself, I thought. Seriously, what we have here is another retarded graduate student who watches star wars too many times trying to re-create R2-D2. Unknowlingly(hopefully) working on the inevitable extinction of the human race, not that we don't deserve it. Its good to know with all the BS going on that there is some jerk out there who thought "why not make a robot to clean your kitchen, maybe sharpen your knives for you, maybe mop the floors, load the diswasher then when its done stuff you in the dishwasher, throw knives at it, and mop you up in the bucket. "stupid humans" it would say as it beeped gleefully stuffing your remains in the garbage disposal.

I'm off to create a facebook page, since I am the onlyl person that does not have one.

Im blogging because Joel is blogging

And he is blogging right next to me, probably making observations of whats going on here at the airport, probably talking about me.(all nice things I'm sure) I unfortunately I have no desire to talk about whats going on here because well its an airport, and its boring. Everyone here has a look on their face like they want to be somewhere else, I'm sure I do as well. Yup just looked over so does Joel. I wonder what hes blogging about right now? Actually I don't really care, all I can think about is how god damn cold its going to be when I get there. And now the two women across from me are blabbing and when you add to that the constant lous speaker announcements its entirely too annoying to try an blog. I didn't want to blog anyway.

Its late and I'm a little drunk

well not real late only 930 or so out here, but im trying not to adjust to pacific time. My major dilemma? Im alone, and I cant make all my clothes fit back in my suit case. Being utterly and completely incapable of taking care of yourself can be tedious at times. wTF am i gonna do? I do have some cable ties in my bag, maybe i could make that work. I can see this converation playing out.

Wife: "did you put cable ties around your clothes to make them fit in your suitcase?"
ME: "..."
Wife: "Seriously?"
ME: "well.."
Wife "..."
Me: " :) "

More beer will make thim fit. I'm good.

Well its been swell San Diego

Tomorrow is my last full day in sunny southern california. I heard it was cold back home. You could say oh jason thats just coincidence, but I disagree. I bring the warmth where ever I go. The real challenge will be can I make it 80 degress in Milwaukee next week?

Enough about that.

The real issue here is my complete lack of blogging, and on the rare occasion that I do write a blog I blog about blogging. Go ahead go back and read... see told you. Got to correct that. I'm sure wants barry gets in office i will have things to bitch about. We're all well aware of the crappy economy so no use in beating that dead horse. My reading material of late has been theoretical physics not too many people care about that crap. Football season is practically over which sucks although I don't think i'll off myself over it like Hunter Thompson did. There really haven't been any scary news articles posted about artifiicial intelligence recently so that's kind of at a stand still at the moment. The wife says I have already told too many people about the "compound" so I can't talk about that anymore.

Im open to suggestions I guess. I usually have an opinion on everything and often a bad one completely out of left field.

Hungry Hungry Hippos..(not anymore)

LOL "freak accident".

7 things about myself (for dj)

1) I don't remember anything from third grade, but I stayed home on new years eve for the first time that I can remember.

2) The most depressed I have ever been was in 9th grade math class when a fellow student told me that boss hog from the Dukes of Hazzard died, I did no math that day.

3) Rap music makes me sad.

4) Most of my actions are dictated by the desire to show people that there are multiple ways to get to the same end.

5) I suffer from short term memory loss very various reasons that I will not go into.

6)Last night i watched a movie. I usually don't like movies and this one wasn't that much different only I thought the cinematography was pretty cool, oh it was "The assasination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford"

7) I can't name 4 people that care about the NBA.